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View Full Version : The legitimate (kis can't say anything abot copywrite this time!) lame joke thread



CK9
01-28-2004, 05:44 PM
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR> In class one day, Johnny's teacher said, "I have a feeling you've been cheating on your tests." The boy was astounded and asked the teacher to prove it. "Well," said the teacher, "on the test the first question was, 'Who was our first president?' and the girl sitting next to you, Mary, put 'George Washington.' So did you." "So? Everyone knows he was the first president." "But wait," the teacher said. "The next question was, 'Who freed the slaves?' Mary put 'Abraham Lincoln' and so did you." "Sir, I read my history book last night and I remembered that," Johnny said. "Wait, wait," said the teacher. "The next question was, 'Who was the president during the Luisiana Purchase?' mary wrote 'I don't know' and you wrote, 'Me neither.'" <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

LOL, and for those who don't know, it was Thoams Jefferson. I did a report on the Corps of Discovery and can tell you almost anything about that journey.

B'tsahv tsavahn, b'khen shoo f'mehros.
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CK9
01-28-2004, 05:44 PM
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR> In class one day, Johnny's teacher said, "I have a feeling you've been cheating on your tests." The boy was astounded and asked the teacher to prove it. "Well," said the teacher, "on the test the first question was, 'Who was our first president?' and the girl sitting next to you, Mary, put 'George Washington.' So did you." "So? Everyone knows he was the first president." "But wait," the teacher said. "The next question was, 'Who freed the slaves?' Mary put 'Abraham Lincoln' and so did you." "Sir, I read my history book last night and I remembered that," Johnny said. "Wait, wait," said the teacher. "The next question was, 'Who was the president during the Luisiana Purchase?' mary wrote 'I don't know' and you wrote, 'Me neither.'" <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

LOL, and for those who don't know, it was Thoams Jefferson. I did a report on the Corps of Discovery and can tell you almost anything about that journey.

B'tsahv tsavahn, b'khen shoo f'mehros.
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CK9
01-28-2004, 05:52 PM
I think the lame jokes can sometimes be the funniest to me, lol.

B'tsahv tsavahn, b'khen shoo f'mehros.
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mystmum
01-28-2004, 11:45 PM
Driver sees a strange looking chap in front of him. This bloke's got three eyes, no arms and one leg and is steadfastly hopping down the road.
So the driver takes pity on him and pulls over. Opening the door he says: "Aye, aye, aye, you look 'armless, 'op in".


*runs*

__________________________________________________ _________
Stop laughing, this is serious.

CK9
01-29-2004, 06:57 AM
lol, shall I say it for et?

B'tsahv tsavahn, b'khen shoo f'mehros.
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Speedyserd
01-29-2004, 07:17 AM
No, can I instead? Please!?

"Don't look before you leap. It'll ruin the surprise"

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CK9
01-29-2004, 01:23 PM
*chases speedy awa*

one
two
thr...
*get's K.O.ed*

B'tsahv tsavahn, b'khen shoo f'mehros.
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CK9
01-29-2004, 05:48 PM
I was implying that speedy was knocking me out to have to chance of saying for et:

GROAN!

B'tsahv tsavahn, b'khen shoo f'mehros.
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MDS_Geist
02-03-2004, 04:52 PM
Two men walk into a bar. You would think that the second one would have seen it...

Two men were boasting to each other about their old army days. "Why, my outfit was so well drilled," declared one, "that when they presented arms all you could hear was slap, slap, click." "Very good," conceded the other, "but when my company presented arms you'd just hear slap, slap, jingle." "What was the jingle?" asked the first. "Oh," replied the other offhand, "just our medals."

In a free society, not all are guilty but all are responsible

CK9
02-03-2004, 06:21 PM
lol. good one

B'tsahv tsavahn, b'khen shoo f'mehros.
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Thragsahg kwagegat! Nuglar sagstrelsahg strel thansahg Gresat.

MDS_Geist
02-03-2004, 07:41 PM
Here is another one that evokes some serious groans...

An Army Major visiting some sick soldiers, goes up to one private and asks,
"What's your problem, Soldier?"
"Chronic syphilis, Sir"
"What treatment are you getting?"
"Five minutes with the wire brush each day."
"What's your ambition?"
"To get back to the front, Sir."
"Good man.", says the Major.

He goes to the next bed.
"What's your problem, Soldier?"
"Chronic piles, Sir"
"What treatment are you getting?"
"Five minutes with the wire brush each day."
"What's your ambition?"
"To get back to the front, Sir."
"Good man.", says the Major.

He goes to the last bed.
"What's your problem, Soldier?"
"Chronic gum disease, Sir"
"What treatment are you getting?"
"Five minutes with the wire brush each day."
"What's your ambition?"
"To get the wire brush before the other two, Sir"

In a free society, not all are guilty but all are responsible

CK9
02-03-2004, 09:34 PM
lol.

Here's something that actually happened, my dad and the drill sargent.

As some people might know, the drill sargents hate it when you put you hands in your pockets. The DS walks up to my dad, who just happens to have his hands in his pockets and the DS says, "What you doing boy, playing pocket-pool?" (oh my) My dad replied, "Yes Dirll Sargent, and it's your shot!" (uh oh!)

Luckily, the DS found it funny.

B'tsahv tsavahn, b'khen shoo f'mehros.
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Thragsahg kwagegat! Nuglar sagstrelsahg strel thansahg Gresat.

Chessrook44
02-04-2004, 03:23 AM
I only half get it...

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CK9
02-04-2004, 06:41 AM
What don't you get?

B'tsahv tsavahn, b'khen shoo f'mehros.
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Thragsahg kwagegat! Nuglar sagstrelsahg strel thansahg Gresat.